Week 1: things that have surprised me

1. Breastfeeding is hard and more frustrating than I thought it would be. And I have had a relatively easy go of it, I think (not too sore, pretty good latching). It's just the constant demand, and it's hard for dad to help with that, especially at night. We're talking every hour sometimes. And it's SUPER messy. "What to Expect" defines baby girl as an "excited ineffective" nurser - she just gets so jazzed about eating that if the first latch doesn't take immediately, she completely melts down. So we've had a few battles where both of us come out dripping. Kind of gross, but true. I think it'll just get easier and I'm learning a few tricks. I also pumped for the first time today, so it'll be nice to have that option.

2. These hormones are INSANE. The first couple of days home were fairly awful. I mean, obviously I love this baby girl and there was joy, too, but I just felt totally in over my head and alone and absolutely crushed by the task ahead of raising a child. With each passing day and night this gets better, but I still have sort of a witching hour around dinner time when I get all nerved up - I think that's when the lack of sleep catches up to me the most. I made Mike stay home from work the rest of this week with me because I just didn't feel ready. I feel a little bad about it, but I think it was worth it for all of our sanity.

3. Jesus, babies go through a lot of diapers. I mean, A LOT. After we topped out at ruining five diapers during one changing (poop and pee everywhere) we learned a few tricks for keeping the explosions at bay, but even with that it's like a package of 40 every 2 days. It's crazy.

4. I'm still nesting, bad. I thought it would subside a little after pregnancy, or I wouldn't care as much because I'd be too tired, but I can't sit still. I suppose it's a little germaphobia having a little one in the house. Speaking of being pregnant, and I feel a little bad saying this, but I don't think I miss it at all. It's a little sad not feeling baby kicks, but now I get to kiss those baby feet after they kick and it's way better than heartburn and being huge and giant and disgusting. Plus my wedding ring fits again this week, which makes me feel whole.