relieved

Yikes, intense last post. I've decided to deplane the breastfeeding crazy train and just try to do what feel right for us - and lighten up a little in the process. We started giving the baby one formula bottle a day, for her bedtime feeding at 10 or 11 pm. Since Mike takes the "rock to sleep" shift it's actually worked out marvelously most nights - I can go to bed at 9:30 or 10 and then I don't have to feed the baby until 3:00 or 3:30 in the morning. Those couple of hours of uninterrupted sleep are indescribably wonderful, and it's a relief that the baby didn't balk at formula (or get sick or turn into a leprauchaun or whatever happens when you don't exclusively breastfeed). It's actually made me calmer at other feedings, knowing that the baby won't starve if I fall into an uncovered manhole. In fact, on Friday we pretty much just sat on the couch all day, watching DVRed episodes of the West Wing, eating, napping and playing. It's really the first time I've done that since we came home from the hospital. I guess it was the new mama anxiety keeping me from relaxing, despite the instructions to take it easy after the c-section. I can see the end of maternity leave in sight, and I know I won't have much opportunity to just snuggle after I go back to work. Not to mention the baby is already growing like a weed and probably won't want to snuggle with me pretty soon. Speaking of growing up - big girl is smiling and cooing - it's super cute.