uggers

Blech, today was just one of those days. I couldn't get rolling with anything. Like I woke up and drank a whole pot of coffee and watched garbage Real Housewives for like two hours until Ainsley woke up. Then she was a whack job and we had to do three CONSECUTIVE time outs. Then I tried on my bridemaid dress for the upteenth time and decided it still looks a gross, so I made my little sister take me with her to the bridal shop for her dress fitting so I could see if they had anything else I could buy off the rack (I knew it was a long shot, but I had to channel all that negative energy somewhere). So after that we went to lunch, and it was kind of the bright spot in the day. Then back home where I tried on my dress for her, and she kindly insisted I don't actually look like a refrigerator, or The Refrigerator (see photo), which is still what I feel like I look like, but what do you do. Anyway, after that it was the two-hour nap battle, and finally I laid down with Ainsley to get her to fall asleep (in full workout gear, because I had every intention of getting on the treadmill while she was napping) and we both fell asleep until 5:00, at which time I was woken up by my dear husband calling to let me know his teeth cleaning at the dentist was like $180 bucks. So, blechchch.

I know these aren't real problems. But sometimes it's just one of those days. And I find that now that I'm staying home more, it's all on me if I'm not productive. When I worked full time, I was generally productive most days. I wouldn't trade this for that, by any means, and I can't even believe that I'm even remotely complaining about this, but sometimes it's hard to feel like you put in a full day when you're doing it for yourself. And with a two year old, which pretty much makes a full productive day of anything totally impossible. And I'm probably a harder critic on myself than any of my co-workers or bosses ever were, so I struggle a little bit with feeling like I got anything done at all even if I clean and do house projects and go to the park and whatnot all day. I suppose it's just going to take awhile to relax about it all. When you're used to going at a certain pace for many years, and constantly struggling to carve out time for everything, then much more time can be pretty overwhelming. But like I said, I wouldn't trade it. So anyway, there is my piece for the evening. Time for bed. Good night.