Leaving Las Vegas

Me oh my, we had a delightful time in Las Vegas. It was a perfect mix of hot sun, good food, great friends and drunken debauchery. We got a fabulous room with a strip/Bellagio fountain view in the newest tower at Caesar's Palace and honestly probably could have stayed in the Caesar's compound all three days. The first night we ventured to the Absinthe show at Caesar's which was in this newly-built wooden theater-in-the-round right on the hotel campus. It sort of felt like an old timey circus, but with way filthier jokes and more acrobatics. Saturday was pool day and we all got fried, but after this past winter, nobody cared. Then that night we went down to Fremont Street, which was cool, but definitely a tad seedier than the strip. We played blackjack at a, er, charming little place called Binion's, which was promptly (and affectionately) renamed "Zombie Casino". Sunday was Margaritaville for lunch and dinner at Craftsteak and then for the rest of the night we just twirled around the Bellagio buying fifteen dollar vodka sours and gelato, and then watching the fountains. I must say, this time around Vegas was a whole different thing. When we went for our honeymoon we were just so exhausted. This time we went with another couple, which is definitely a good plan for Vegas, and we were incredibly compatible travel buddies. Everyone was just low key and up for whatever. It was a great, great weekend, and although I missed Ains a lot and was happy to get back, I can't help but be a little sad that it's over.

Happy Vegas Eve

So we leave tomorrow morning for the bright lights of the big city of Las Vegas and I am tres excited. I am also sad, which I wasn't expecting. The flipside of spending almost all day, every day with your kid is that you miss them a whole lot more when you leave them. Also I told the lady at the bank that she is in her terrible twos so "I'm not sure I'll even miss her at all!" What a horrible, terrible thing to say. I didn't mean it. But I think we'll have a good time. We're going with a couple that we get along really well with, and I got an ultra dark spray tan with triple color enhancers today, so that's something. Tanning salons, how weird nowadays. It's like a bar that allows smoking. I just kind of stared into the little tanning bed rooms in disbelief while waiting for my Mystic Tan, like, people still do this?! That's crazy! Anyway, I need to make this quick and go hang with Ains for awhile before bed. See ya on the flipside.

Impromptu American Idol Live Blog or Whatever

I was an American Idol junkie for the past three years, but this year Mike and I made a collective decision to stop watching, partially because our BFF Vegan left for law school (and he was a big part of the tradition) and also because of tax season and Simon's departure. I mean, that shit is a big time commitment, and Simon was keeping it real.

Anyway, I'm sitting here biding my time until Glee starts and watching my first episode of the season, also the finale. Hmm, it's like an out of body experience without all the build up and fanfare and BS of the whole season to back it up. So here's what I think ....

- Oh no! I want to punch this Scotty kid in the face already. Mostly to get rid of that weird "smolder" thing he's doing. Someone's seen a few episodes of Next Top Model, me thinks. Oh no, he's only 17. That's totally mean. Maybe his singing will change my mind. Hmmmm. Ok, to be fair, I hate this "Gone" song, and he's not really making it any worse. I want to like this kid because he looks like Mad Magazine and he's probably a dork at his high school, but THAT FACE HE'S MAKING. Gives me the squeebs.
- Lauren Alaina. Lauren Alaina. That's kind of fun to say. Lauren Alaina. Oh no, I'm typing this during commercial break immediately following that song and I literally can't remember what she JUST sang. Probably not a good sign. All I can remember is it seemed like it hurt her to sing. They shouldn't have talked about that at the beginning, then everyone's listening for it.
- Ahhh, I kind of love George Strait. I always feel like he loves his wife a lot.
- Oh my God, this commercial showing clips from the last episodes of Cheers and Cosby Show is making me cry. Oh, it's for Oprah's show finale. Eh, I guess. Not the same thing, really.
- LaurenAlainaLaurenAlaina. This song sounds good, but she might have blown her voice out in that first song already. Eek. Oh, there we go. Pam Tillis is awesome. Good pick Carrie Underwood.
- Oh Randy. You're such a wang still.
- Oh J-Lo. Why are you yelling? Also, genie sleeves. You're the prettiest lady in the world or whatever, stop trying so hard.
- Oh Steven Tyler. You and that dangly feather hairpiece will haunt my dreams.
- Ok, they're already teasing the last song. Is this shorter than last year?
- I'm pretty sure I thought Taio Cruz was Usher on the radio for probably like his last 5 songs. I'm not very cool any more. AHHHHHHHHHH - FIX HIS MICROPHONE!!!! Ok, fixed, phew. I kinda like this song, I bet it'll be real good all mixed and autotuned and whatever pop magic they do. This would be a good workout mix song. Does it feel like there's this movement toward positive pop music lately? Pink, those original Glee songs, Katy Perry, Gaga even. I like that. Because you can tell from my jerky judgments above I'm all about positivity.
- Ok, Scotty's hypothetical first single. Well, it's certainly made for him. Also, a little slow moving. This is the kind of song that, like, the first time I hear it on the office radio it's almost ok, but by the end of tax season it makes me want to crawl out of my skin, because the key to a successful male country ballad lately seems to be a healthy dose of "rapey".
- More from the judges. I feel like they're really pushing it this year. These kids are just kind of meh. I mean, think of Kelly Clarkson. ADAM LAMBERT. (Side note, Adam, where did you go? You should be the male Gaga by now). Even those two from last year, especially Crystal. Oh, Scotty just summed it up perfectly ... "just hanging out, singing songs." Yep, that's just what it sounds like. Where's the camp?!
- LaurenAlaina's hypothetical single. It's pretty enough. At least these songs fit these kids. That was such a train wreck always. She does have a pleasant rasp. Oh her parents are so young!
- Ok, final judgies. Yes Randy, tell her that "whispery Mariah Carey" thing was awesome, that's just what the world needs more of.
- Oh, these kids. They're just such babies, it's not even fair. It just makes me think of some behind the scenes interview thing I saw once where the director of Con Air talked about picking Trisha Yearwood's version of "How Do I Live" over Leanne Rhimes' because it was more believable ... because of her age. And it's the same with these kids. I'm not an ageist at all, but I think someone like Taylor Swift does it right. When I hear her songs it makes me think of being young and having a crush and then being crushed. It's affecting, but not so big that it buries her. Which is good songwriting and good self awareness. But these kids, yeesh. If Simon were here I bet he'd be telling them to act their ages all season. I bet nobody told them that this season. Because those three yahoo judges, who even knows.
- David Cook. I loved him a little, and this Breakfast Club song is good for him.
- Ok, Glee time. Byeee!

Wooden Shoes

Mike spent all weekend at a tulip festival in Iowa for work, because that's what it's like working in the tourism industry, and he brought back a pair of wooden shoes for Ainsley. Like, legitimate carved wooden shoes. They are both amazing and wildly impractical, but most of all they are very VERY loud, and our floors are surely dented from the incessant stomping. They are also radical, and my 80s child self would have killed a man for a pair back in the day.

Ainsley and I spent the weekend running around with my parents, working on Project X, a little business idea that is 99% a sure thing, but I'll hold off on the details until I get word that all is official. In any case it will be pretty cool to cover the project to fruition on this blog. Of all the entrepreneurial adventures of my family, this is probably the coolest and most collaborative. So in that way it will probably be the most rewarding ... or a fight to the death. Could go either way. In any case, it involves booze, which is traditionally the one thing we can all agree on, so I have a good feeling.

Rainbow

So I impulse-bought the The Care Bears Movie from an end cap at Target about a month ago. I probably watched that thing 500 times growing up, like to the point where I remembered plot points -- and I must have only been seven or eight during peak viewership. Anyway, Ainsley took a shine to it as well and now it has become a staple ...

"Ainsley, do you want to put your shoes on?"
"No - I wanna watch Cawe Beaws!"

"Ainsley, should we go use the potty?"

"NO - I WANNA WATCH CAWE BEAWS!!!"

"Ainsley, let's get in the car to go to school."
"NO - I WANNA WATCH CAWE BEAWS WIGHT NOW!" Etc., etc.

But the cute part is that she thinks rainbows and clouds are tangible. So last night Mike was showing her the rainbow stretching over the hills we can see from our deck and of course ...

"I want to lay on it!! I want to slide down the wainbow ... WIGHT NOW!"

PS ...

Guess who just washed a load of whites with a pen. Huzzah!

Willkommen!

Hello tens of readers, most of whom I am related to. Welcome to my blog's current (re)iteration. Now that I am a tax lady, I find myself with a little time on my hands during the 7 1/2 month off-season (yes, you heard that right. This should be a crime!). I mean, Ainsley is two now, which means she is practically raising herself. Besides, isn't that what tv is for? Ha ha, just kidding! Mostly.

So, I'm going to try my hand at this blogging thing again, which I really do enjoy, but with a baby and full time job and husband and whatnot it just fell by the wayside for the last, oh, year and a half. So here's to new beginnings.

Oh, and you can read old posts here - www.kristagussiaas.blogspot.com - until I get everything moved over.

UPDATE: Everything is moved!