day before

Last morning as fam of three - how are we going to fit 4 in this bed?!

So tomorrow is C-day. It's super weird knowing that we're scheduled to have a baby. I just keep staring at my belly thinking "poor kid, in XX hours you just have no idea". Imagine that shock - one day you're in this perfectly padded, temperature-controlled, dark, quiet baby hot tub, just living the life, and then you're yanked out and everything's bright and cold and loud and itchy (I would imagine clothing, in general, is rather unpleasant. I think that's why kids love to be naked. ALL THE TIME). I guess if you go through the process of birth, maybe there's some kind of trigger that prepares the kid on some primal level. Like shit just gets too squished, and you're relieved to get out. I don't know. But anyway.

So clearly I'm a little loony today. We're trying to wrap up some projects. I watered my flowers really well and trimmed some stuff in the yard. Mike washed and vacuumed the car (after cleaning like a mad man yesterday - he's a keeper). But we're sort of just wandering around weirded out. I had these dreams all night, like the kind you have right before prom or your wedding. Like you're trying to get everything ready and nothing is working. Except it was all in the surgery prep area at the hospital (except it really looked like the locker room next to a pool). They just kept getting me ready--at one point making me drink/eat Ensure poured on corn on the cob, as would be necessary before surgery-- but I could never quite get to the operating room. Unsettling.

I suppose it's just time. I am very, very excited to see what this little peanut is like, who he looks like, how he's different from his sister. I want to see how Ainsley reacts. I truly believe she will be very sweet and protective. I want to see if he looks like his daddy. I am nervous, of course, but I can't wait.